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Writer's pictureLeah Wolford

Halloween 2019

Normally I am not a huge sports fan. For someone who never thrived in a competitive environment and always got picked last in gym class, I naturally had no draw to watch or involve myself in a specific team. I was born and raised into a family who eats, sleeps and breaths sports. And I’m talking about any kind of sporting event. Really just anything with any hint of competition. If there isn’t anything being televised with a ball being tossed around, then we’re watching a poker tournament. So naturally, I stayed away from any competitive activities. But I always felt the need to cheer along with my family for our home teams and when your home team is competing in the World series, you must take the time to watch. And as the Nationals won the big game, the excitement of the next night really had its chance to sink in.

I woke up the morning after the Nationals won the World Series ready to celebrate not only my favorite day of the year (Halloween) with my favorite band, but also a moment in Washington D.C. sports history. And how appropriate that the concert was in Washington D.C. at The Anthem Stage. They have only ever played this newer venue once before in February of 2018. This venue is a gorgeous, six thousand capacity room that opened in the Fall of 2017. It is a toddler of a venue but still has a lot to offer. It is a three-tiered venue with a very large smoking deck on the second floor. There are various bars that you can enjoy strong and tasty beverages from and even a waffle station! I was extremely excited to return, and after popping a bottle of champagne in the morning, I was anxious to start getting ready for the night.

I decided to be the Rocktopus for Halloween to mimic the Umphrey’s song “Roctopus.” I’ve been wanting to pull this costume off for a couple of years now, but I wanted to wait until I got the opportunity to see Umphrey’s to do so. I made my own octopus tentacles by stuffing a couple pairs of bright red tights with packing peanuts and sewing them onto a black and red tutu. I put some black fishnets over the tentacles to really sink the rock and roll look. I completed the look with Umphrey’s new sinister wolf t-shirt and a denim jacket that I ironed and sewed a bunch of various band patches onto. I was ready for some face melting, gut busting rock and roll.

In years past, Umphrey’s McGee has done mashups for Halloween. They put a huge expand on the mashup scene in the jam band industry. They absolutely succeeded in the task and did it so often that it became their “thing” for Halloween. They would even have mashup costumes. Brendan Bayliss dressed as Cypress Hillary Clinton one year. And that is just one example of the many ingenious ideas that they put forth for the event. And out of this habit, they created a whole album dedicated to their brilliant mashups called “Zonkey.” Alas, they grew tired of doing mashups and decided to take Halloween in a different direction. At their most recent Halloween show, they all came out on stage dressed as different eras of Prince and debuted new Prince covers. We were all kind of in the dark about what they were going to pull off this year. When they came out with the ad for the Halloween run, the man in the ad almost looked like Freddy Mercury. The man was sporting a raunchy pedophile mustache (hence the Freddy Mercury idea) and a big pair of aviator sunglasses. As time grew closer and the people began to talk, another idea was creeping into our minds.

The Anthem Stage was almost bare when I showed up for the doors opening. Star Kitchen was starting the night off. This is Mark Brownstein’s (the bassist of the Disco Biscuits) side project band. The members of the band came out dressed as prisoners as to give the audience a clue to what Umphrey’s had in store. They got the crowd nice and warmed up with their funky and bouncy jams and they even threw in a cover of Prince’s “Kiss.” After Star Kitchen had left the stage, I was left with my thoughts and aspirations of the night. The boys hadn’t played a show on Halloween night 2015 at Riverside Ballroom in Milwaukee, WI. They had done Halloween themed shows for the years in between then and now but not on the actual night. Before I could get too lost in my anxious thoughts, the lights went down and my favorite band were taking their starting positions of the stage.

The chorus of “Bad Boys” by Inner Circle blasted through the speakers and the whole place erupted with the cheers of rock starved umphreaks as the boys took the stage clad from head to toe in cop gear. The lights came up on the stage and I was able to appreciate their costumes fully. They were all dressed in tan cop uniforms, some wearing shorts and others wearing pants. They hit the nail of the head, looking almost right out of the movie “Super Troopers.” And the top it all off they all had grown corny, pedophile mustaches (just like the one from the ad) for just the occasion, except for Jake, who wore a fake mustache that fell off not even five minutes into the first song. But who couldn’t see that coming? With Jaco’s dirty riffs, the mustache simply couldn’t hang on anymore and fled the scene. With the theme finally coming into perspective, the boys began on a night of red and blue lights and absolutely jaw dropping improv to accompany covers that I’ve wanted to see the boys conquer for quite some time now.

I thought I heard Joel starting to play “North Route” but instead they dove right into “Synchronicity II” by the Police and the theme of the night now became crystal clear. They were dressed as police officers and were going to be covering The Police. The Police is one band that Umphrey’s has a firm grasp of on how to cover flawlessly. I just love to hear Jake and Brendan’s impeccable guitar compatibility when they cover The Police because it fits so well together. I think that’s because they sort of have some of the same tactics when it comes to writing music. A very heavy influence of reggae, punk and jazz. Kris and Brendan nailed the vocals of “Synchronicity II.” It was a great way to kick off the show and leave us all hungry for more.

Jake performed an astonishing solo during the “Bridgeless” that came after the flawless (and first of many) Police cover. And right after Jake took us to shred town, Stasik settled into a funky and nothing-but-sweaty bass line. The band then segued into an upbeat and spooky improv section where Joel had, seemingly, a lot of fun on his keys. Jake led the boys into an uplifting ending section of the jam before they sneakily crept into “Ocean Billy.” Another quite eerie tune to set the tone for a Halloween rock and roll throw down. The “Billy” jam was attention grabbing yet spacey all at the same time. Jake kept it bouncy with that familiar country twang thrown in here and there. Kris finally settled into an invigorating drum beat that Andy added some spiciness to with his many percussion instruments. This eventually led into a softer section where Jakes twang really came into performance and eventually crescendoed into a very dance worthy, synth heavy section that set up a perfect transition to go into the end of the song with.

Right after another exciting Police debut of “Regatta De Blanc,” Joel beautifully led us into “Utopian Fir” which then, leapt right into “The Fuzz.” These two songs go together better than peanut butter and jelly. With “The Fuzz” being a rarity, it was to be expected with the police theme. However, it is always a pleasant surprise when it comes your way on a setlist. I always get down and dirty to this one. I can remember grabbing my octopus tentacles to dance with and cutting a rug between my two friends Viva and Sam (who were aptly dressed as Day Nurse and Night Nurse). They went back into the “Fir” from before but left it unfinished. They then transitioned flawlessly into “Night Nurse.”

Stasik continued to bring the funk in “Night Nurse” and I knew it was going to be a sweaty evening. The beat was very meticulous, and they hit every note with great fluidity. This song swam by so smoothly that it could almost set your anxiety at ease. Jake provided us with such precise, yet shockingly abstract riffs for this ethnic jam. When this symphony started to come together at its end, it became clear that this was “the jam” of the first set. It was like an orchestra of ominous sounds that created such a perfect rhythm. After they polished “Night Nurse” off, they practically fell into The Police’s “Message in a Bottle” to finish out the first set.

They tore into the second set with an absolutely mind bending “Dump City.” I almost forgot how amazing this jam was until I relistened. And then I couldn’t kick it, I had that jam melody stuck in my head for days! This song is always one to be paired with a tasty jam, but they really gave this one the treatment that it needed (and we needed it too, trust me). In the improve section Jake started off with a steady riff and Joel shortly followed with an equally steady and spacey synth rhythm. Bayliss then added his P.R.S’ whine of elongated glory (no pun intended) and Ryan, Kris and Andy came in perfectly on que adding a little edge to the rhythm. They did their natural call and answer bit between improv sections a couple of times before breaking into a jaw dropping Joel solo. After letting Joel play around a bit with his laser beam-like sounds, Andy, Jake and Ryan come in together adding on a whole new layer to this incredible piece. They built up the drum beat and really put the cherry on top of this fat gem. Jake kept up with the eerie-ness as the jam came to its best part. Between Jakes staccato riff and Joel’s piercing synth, my mind felt like it was doing cartwheels. I mean, even relisting to this gem at home made me want to drop it like it’s hot. And to top it all off, they uplifted and soared us all right back into home base. Bringing the jam to an impeccable closing. This “Dump City” had all the factors that go into being a successful jam: an initial draw of being dance-y and funky, Joel blowing you out of the water with his synth wave expertise, repetition of jaw dropping improv sections, and a soaring and uplifting ending featuring a quick Jake shred session. This stunning symphony was without a doubt my favorite jam of the night.

They did another Police cover of “Spirits in The Material World” then dove right into “Draconian” where the jam started out slow and spooky. As they started to feel it out it became grungy and featured an Ozzy Osborne’s “Crazy Train” tease. They came back to the lyrical section of “Draconian” and then, through the drumming skills of Kris Myers, sank into “Kula.” Once “Kula” had begun, I slowly started to prepare myself for what was about to happen. I started to take down my braided hair and remove my very valuable AC/DC bandana. I couldn’t have anything restricting my headbanging activities. I needed full mobility. Once I had all the obstacles that were keeping me from my full dancing potential stashed away in my fanny pack, I was ready to swing my hair freely. This is my ultimate head banging song. It really lets the stress out! This excitement stayed with me through the next song. I started to jump in the air when they started to play “I Can’t Stand Losing You.” This is one of my favorite Police songs and I was over the moon to hear them play it.

As to kick the show up just one more notch, they dropped a “Nothing Too Fancy” on Washington D.C. Jake, of course, ripped this song a new one with the shredding that he performed. And after Jake sexily laid down that insane solo, he stole the hearts of everyone in the room by serenely singing The Police’s “King of Pain.” This was my favorite cover of the night. The band played it perfectly. Jake had the perfect guitar sound to echo the beauty of the song. The boys concluded the second set by ending the “Bridgeless” from the first set. They came back to end this monumental show with their last cover of the night, “Every Little Thing She Does is Magic” by The Police. I had been wanting Umphrey’s to cover this song for a long time and here I was, finally seeing it happen! I thought my heart couldn’t get any happier until the all-time crowd favorite “Hajimemashite” manifested. I practically melted into the floor of The Anthem Stage when I heard the familiar chords. What a perfect way to end a perfect show.

When the lights came on and the phreaks reluctantly started to trickle out, I realized that I literally had to pick up my jaw up off of the floor before leaving the Anthem. I was trying to process what I had just witnessed but I found the task to be impossible as I was left mind boggled. The improv was superb, and the cover selection was spot on. Umphrey’s always has a way to make me fall in love with music all over again. Even if I think I know what’s going on, they throw me a curveball and throw my existing knowledge through the ringer. But I like that. They always keep me on my toes. They always surprise and astonish me.

Photo from Levene Photographers

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